Al Bundy said it best... "Women understand women and they hate them.".
The matriarchy is the thing that scares women the most. Judgement, criticism, accountability all come from older women. Simply be existing, a matriarch of a successful family holds a mirror up to an unsuccessful woman and shows her what she is not. And the older matriarchs of the family are the ones who see through the bullshit of young women so easily. And they know the words that will hurt the deepest.
If you are a young irresponsible woman who wants a life without accountability, how do you get these things? You need to destroy the power of the matriarchy. But what is the power of the matriarchy? Family and family bonds.
But what happens if you raise your hand against the matriarchy? The matriarch will summon all her words and talk to you. They will say things that you cannot bare to hear. They will point out your flaws and show you the consequences of your actions. They will predict your future... accurately. And it will not be pleasant.
But what happens if you can ignore the matriarchs words? Do you win? No you do not. Because the matriarch will escalate the problem and remove you from of the safety of the family. Because the matriarch controls the power of excommunication. She defines the family. Who is in and who is out.
If you are still a problem outside the family, then you are a problem for the ultimate matriarch power. The patriarchy. The family problem solver. The matriarch looks inward at the family troubles. The patriarch looks outward at the troubles that come from outside.
The patriarchy is someone who spends their life specialising in all the issues and topics that can threaten the family. Solving them, avoiding them, fixing them, protecting against them, planning ahead to avoid them or killing them.
So, the only way to "disarm" the matriarch is first to remove the patriarch. Only then can you destroy the thing that scares women the most... being accountable to the matriarch.
