Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Amazon's suckiness

Honestly, I should know better.

Why do I keep buying stuff on the internet?  Is it the unsatisfying allure of cheapness? Is it the myth of easy availibility? Is it the rank promise of access to otherwise unavailible stuff? 

Or was I just desperate?

I think about half the purchases I have made remotely have had some sort of unwanted aspect to them.  Scammy products, shitty service, crap delivery time, rip-offs and missing parts.  The other half have been fine.  Usual over the counter transactions from people who are honest, forthright and are trying to do a fair deal.   You know those little businesses, specialists in something or other that have found a niche on the internet and are just working it.

Then there is Amazon.  The 3 million pound something in the room.  Its not a business... its a blight.  Don't get me wrong, I have endless uses for Amazon.  Their catalog is fantastic.  Their ideas a brilliant, their marketing is top notch.  Their follow-through is funcking horrible.

I can only assume that they tend to service their customers in the US better, and as there is an Amazon.uk, their british customers get similar treatment.  But for some reason, being at the top of the world as we are out here.... makes it much harder to actually deliver a fucking product that on their lying, two faced fucking web page, with dynamically updated information and a massive back room of smart cockroaches ( I can only assume) they cannot actually figure out how to deliver that which they have promised.

If I give you an address and some money... and you have a product and a guy who carries shit from your place to other peoples places... it doesnt seem so hard to get A to B.  Especially if you do it hundreds of thousands of times a day.  You get good at it.

I can forgive the whole... "Oh suddenly its out of stock" routine when its a tiny mom and pop shop that has not heard of computers... but fuck me... Amazon is a computer.  They have supply chain managment down to a tee.  For them to promise to deliver something when they take the money.... then three fucking weeks later send me an email saying they are finally dispatching a couple of bits of the order..... really pisses me off.  I know that they knew... at the second my money left my account,... they knew that they could not deliver on their promise.  And they did not fess up.  So, I like a dickhead, have been left with the assumption that the package would arive any day. 

Even shonkey shit from Ebay coming from Hong Kong gets here in under a week. Bloody Amazon are just lying sacks of shit.

First rule of business... don't sell something you don't have.  It involves both gambling and lying.

This is fine when you have a contractual obligation with someone else to deliver that thing on a specific day... then you can sell based on that knowledge.... but to just not have shit... and not even have a plan for getting shit... and still selling it.... thats outright fucking lying.

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