Saw an interesting redpill video that was looking at the two behaviours of "women" who have fast encounters with "chads" and then "make the good guy wait".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auzCseW3wps
As usual, the comments section is the best bit of the video. However... as usual, they are missing the point and trying to discover a "successful" counter strategy to the observed behaviors. Also, as usual, they are trying to game the system for the shortest possible returns.... but thats another rant.
The generalisation of the behaviour, in summary, is that the archetype of the "woman" they are discussing is that of the "modern woman" who meets and quickly beds the stereotypical "Chad", "Tyrone" or "fboy". In otherwords, superficially attractive men. Then moves on... and eventually settles down and wants a relationship with a "good man"(insert your definition here). But the kicker is that this stereotypical woman will then make the "good man" wait for some extended period before consumating the relationship.
The comments section again repeats this idea in a variety of different takes with some minor extensions; almost universally from the "good guy" victim perspective. ( possible skew in the commenter demographics perhaps?)
The key point that is escaping all the hurting "good guys" is why! Why does she engage in these two seemingly contradictory behaviours? As usual, selfish childish boys with no insight leap to a completely useless conclusion and reinforce the toxic, empathy less dickhead stereotype.
The reason she engages in these two contradictory behaviours is that the first behaviour (that of quickly sleeping with a "Chad") is that it has no social consequence. There is no future story that she is going to tell about that encounter TO ANYONE THAT SOCIALLY MATTERS TO HER. It was just for her personal tick-list or momentary entertainment, childish exploration etc. The only people she is going to tell this story to are other similarly childish people who are impressed by stories about cheap sexual conquest without consequences.
In contrast, the "How I met your father/brother/son" story is the one she will pass down to her children and tell all her in-laws. These are people she has to look at across the family dining table/BBQ for the rest of her life. These are the "Social circle" who will JUDGE her... for the rest of her life. Creating a narrative of values and respect is now much more important to her inner peace than quickly jumping into bed. Thus the extended courtship routine gets dusted off and suddenly she starts trying on the behaviors that she has only heard about from other "respectable women". When she tells this story, she wants to be seen as a respectable woman of substance and values.
Tada!
Once you see the behavior through the lens of "future story making", it makes more sense. This in no way explains all the individual variation as that is more driven by the individual skill and knowledge and understanding of the individuals who are involved in the drama. But the general thrust of the behaviour is shaped by this urge to create a meaningful narrative. And more importantly, place themselves in it as a virtuous person.
Now imagine if the childish men consuming this video to feed their victim narrative could grow up enough to understand this? They might start to have a look in the mirror and think about how they appear in such a narrative? Are they ready to be the prince charming character or are they the angry, petulant man-child thinking about the next sexual moment peering out of the dirty alley watching the adults construct the most elaborate narratives they can manage. Lusting after immature women does not help.
So what are the better insights to draw from this behaviour?
The fact that it manifests enough to be commented on as a generalisable pattern suggests that constructing virtuous roles for women in their relationship origin stories still has both intrinsic and extrinsic value; at least to some women at a certain level of development in their life journey. It does raise the questions about when and how persistent this pressure might be felt.
How can this pattern be gamed? How can this pattern be re-inforced? How can it be emphasised so that the players within it can move towards satisfaction and eventual happy, positive lives.
It also raises the question about how the fragmentation of the external "observers" that we assemble as "society" in our internal representation of the environment is either eroding this narrative construction or re-shaping it.
The quality of the observer and the "media" as shapers of this narrative are probably the most profound variables in how the narratives initially form and are evaluated by the actors.
I would suggest that the princess narrative is like any other story that we tell ourselves, its all well and good... until it sours. Then there is no way to tell it without it being bitter. At this point the actors need to walk away from the narrative or start to see themselves portrayed in the bitter version of the story with the consequent self-reflection that casts them in a light they do not want to be seen in (or see themselves in).
I think this souring inevitably leads to divorce and the end of relationships with all the consequent legal fallout as the fragments are reassembled into new stories.
It does make me wonder if the storytelling can be re-inforced. Does having the opportunities to tell and re-tell the story (and getting positive social value from doing so) help to keep the narrative building in a virtue spiral? I suspect it would for many people. Everyone likes to be reflected well in others eyes.
I suspect that insecure people are still going to play for the short term wins, without the stability to play for longer term payoffs. They do not have the innate trust and positive childhood experience to believe a long-term relationship has a reasonable probability of paying off. They have just never seen it happen.
This gets back to the issue of why people engage in the short term narrative construction. Obviously, it plays well with their peer group. If they are only surrounded by a peer group of similar age and maturity level, they are only going to get feedback from those points of view. Everything will be short term wins, cheap thirlls. All their story building will be focused on maximising their social credit through that lens. Which leads to very superficial activities with the appearance of meaning to other children.
If they were in an inter-generational household or community where they were having to tell the story to their elders and hear the feedback on their actions... they may find that the social credit of their cool story's might be quite different.
This is based on the idea that their elders are not also encouraging the asshole behaviour. But, in theory, if they were getting a better quality of judgement... perhaps it might change the way they made decisions.
And we have circled back to external judgment
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