My personal gravity theory

Let me preface this by saying that its uninformed speculation having no pretence at reality... just not allowed to yell at the tv anymore.... oh and I have a headache.   

It's obvious that if gravity can deflect light, then gravity must have more energy than light.  Since light is a wave that sometimes acts like a particle, it would seem rational that gravity is a wave of such high frequency that it folds back on itself creating an attractor rather than a repulsor as energy is returned inward rather than being projected outward but still being able to interesect with other bodies to cause attraction.  It also suggests that gravity of a quantum particle interacts with the gravity waves of nearby particles and distorts them creating a greater gravity field than the sum of the parts.... since gravity can be distored by a spinning super conductor.... that means that light should also be effected, if they exist in the same set of dimensions. However it would be much more interesting if they existed in slightly different dimensions. But what if a sub atomic particle had some or more gravity units (call them gravitons if you must) ..... gotta wonder if they are all in phase.  Or is it a constant shaped field?   Or are we all just a bunch of different flavored constantly colapsing tiny tiny fields that are so fast they create a standing wave at a point in space time.... since the universe is cooling down, that means that each collapsing field looses a tiny bit of energy in some transformation.... totally makes sense in my head.... kind of like the way a giant soap bubble wobbles though all sorts of unstable shapes until it reaches stability as a sphere.  Think of the surface of the bubble as a multi-dimensional wave with some bits being in and others out at any point in time... some bits a pulling inward while others are being thrown outward and rebounding. Then think of all the tiny little bubbles intersecting and overlapping at the edges....  and since they are just energy, they bubbles distort each other and combine together to create a field effect greater than any single bubble, which must be a multiple or exponential relationship because of the massive size of a gravity field but still have an exponential falloff over distance. 

The other possibility is that the gravitational field of a sub atomic particle is not compressable.  So even through the particle is within a compact and compressed state, the field energy is squeezed out. And becomes part of an orbiting fields of waves that are constantly trying to return to their source while being deflected by each other.  This creates a constant field around the mass, of waves that interact and create interference patterns in each other (because they are the same frequency) and because they are constantly collapsing inward and exerting an outward pressure through the shape of their waveform, they create a self sustaining wave that is endlessly collapsing.

This would explain why, when you smash some atoms together in a super collider, there are no gravitons to detect.  You have simply interupted a standing wave in such a way that it cannot re-form fast enough to be self sustaining, However, if you look at the traces from a super collider, it looks like inward curling tracks that form a hyperbolic spiral, which suggests that the fragments are collapsing and rotating toward a local orign at an accellerating pace.  Where does the energy to accellerate come from? Why do the particles rotate inward rather than continuing on more or less linear paths away from the explosion? Is it simply a single disrupted wave fragmented into many smaller ones collapsing toward new stable states?